On Friday night,
writer Apurva Asrani tweeted, “For 13 years we pretended to be cousins so we could rent a home together. We were told ‘keep curtains drawn so neighbours don’t know ‘what’ you are’. We recently bought our own home. Now we voluntarily tell neighbours we are partners. It’s time LGBTQ families are normalised too (sic).” The message came along with a photograph of the couple — Apurva and
Siddhant Pillai — and the nameplate on the door of their new house in Goa.
In a chat, we asked Apurva what prompted the tweet on Friday night and he said, “I have always tried to bring attention to the LGBTQIA+ community. It has almost been 20 years since I edited
Satya. In these years, I have realised that people are quick to slot you, no matter what work you do. They go by your personal choices. After writing
Aligarh (2015), I decided to openly talk about the community, their issues, fears and the lack of empathy for them. Since then, I’ve made constant efforts to normalise things for couples or individuals like Sid and me because we still lack the right environment. We have the blessings of our families today. We wanted to share our joy of having a place of our own. We bought the house before the lockdown and we thought that it might inspire more people to accept, acknowledge and embrace things without judgement. We want to share things about ourselves just like other heterosexual couples do. We want to normalise the conversation around us.”
The couple does not believe in the conventional idea of a marriage. “For us, it’s all about being together in this home that we’ve made together, and yet, giving each other space. He’s immersed in work, and so am I. We could go days without talking, but that never takes a toll on our relationship. We’re companions. For us, waking up next to each other is our choice, not a forced decision made by anyone,” Apurva signed off.